Getting ready to move to Brazil! My company has offered me a promotion and great opportunity to work in the country where my wife is from, Brazil. Luiza and I have always wanted to live there, and this will be a great opportunity for us. Am I nervous? You bet. Am I thinking I'm crazy? Quite often. Am I totally trusting God that this is His deal, not mine? Most of the time, haha.
So far we have gotten our house on the market, sold my Jeep Liberty, given away our dog Molly and our cockatiel Stella. We still have to sell our van, ship our stuff, sell the house, move down there, find a place to live, etc. Crazy, crazy stuff.
How will this move affect Calvin with his autism? Not sure yet. Calvin is doing well, and we are going through a new emotional stage along with defiance on his part. Very difficult to see your child go through this. Most children experience this at the age of 2 or 3, but Calvin is just now in the middle of it at the age of seven.
We're believing that Brendon and Calvin will both learn Portuguese and fit in well down there. We know there will be a lag time for them to play catch up with the other students before they are able to fit in and do well in school. I think this will be a good thing in the long run for them.
I'm trying to put all the stress out of my head until after this week. I want this week to be a wonderful last Christmas in Portland. I am very sentimental and emotional myself. I'm sure that Calvin must be sensing the changes and it must be effecting him as well.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Calvin's First Spontaneous Phone Question
This morning I called home as usual to say "good morning" to my family. Luiza and I were talking about how difficult Calvin has been with his fussing lately. Whenever he does not get his way, he makes a growly voice that shows us that he's angry, or he will yell "The monster!" at us or his brother. It's become quite tiresome, so we have really been addressing each incident and do not want him to get away with it any longer. Even when he's happy or playing, he seems to be grumpy.
So, on top of watching his diet (which we had started loosening up on), we are making sure to ask him to stop fussing and letting him know that he is hurting our feelings when he does this. Luiza spent a whole half hour with him in the bathroom (to limit any outside stimulation or distraction), working with him to realize that he can't fuss like that.
By the time I called home, Calvin was now in a much better mood. I asked to say hi to him on the phone. Normally, he follows my lead and answers my yes or no questions. Then he'll tell me something about Thomas or something watching TV. He rarely goes "off script" in our dialogue, just preferring to stick with the good old statements that he knows.
But today, the first thing I hear is a spontaneous, "Hi, Dada, is Ben coming over to play today?" Wow!! That blew my socks off! I said yes, and he said he wants to play trains with Ben. Haha. It is amazing what a little thing like this does to encourage us. It might seem small to most parents, but this was a real-life conversation happening here!! Praise God for His faithfulness to us!!
So, on top of watching his diet (which we had started loosening up on), we are making sure to ask him to stop fussing and letting him know that he is hurting our feelings when he does this. Luiza spent a whole half hour with him in the bathroom (to limit any outside stimulation or distraction), working with him to realize that he can't fuss like that.
By the time I called home, Calvin was now in a much better mood. I asked to say hi to him on the phone. Normally, he follows my lead and answers my yes or no questions. Then he'll tell me something about Thomas or something watching TV. He rarely goes "off script" in our dialogue, just preferring to stick with the good old statements that he knows.
But today, the first thing I hear is a spontaneous, "Hi, Dada, is Ben coming over to play today?" Wow!! That blew my socks off! I said yes, and he said he wants to play trains with Ben. Haha. It is amazing what a little thing like this does to encourage us. It might seem small to most parents, but this was a real-life conversation happening here!! Praise God for His faithfulness to us!!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Christmas and Kindergarten!
This last Christmas, our family received a wonderful surprise: David, my wonderful brother-in-law, secretly invited and paid for my parents to come to Portland to spend Christmas and the New Year with us! It was truly wonderful. We were all so pleasantly shocked by this, and we took full advantage of them being here. On top of that, my wife's brother and his wife came from Brazil for the first time. They had never seen snow before, and they were greeted by the most snow that Portland has seen in over 30 years. We had 4 foot snowdrifts at our house, making for a beautiful white Christmas.
During the Christmas break, Luiza and I prayed about Calvin starting school again. We felt that his social skills had improved to the point where he was constantly wanting to be engaged with people. Volunteers have proved difficult to come by and difficult to keep for any extended length of time, so the therapy time had fallen exclusively on Luiza's (and to a lesser extent my) shoulders. We spoke with Sweetbriar Elementary down the street, and they told us they would be happy to see if they could work with Calvin.
Calvin went in for an interview with Luiza and some staff from the school. They were impressed with Calvin's interaction and how well he used his words. So, they decided that he could be placed in a "typical" classroom, rather than a special-ed classroom. We were thrilled to no end.
So, Monday, January 12th, Calvin went to school. He made it for through the whole classtime, but by the end, he wanted to go home, so the teacher called Luiza to come and pick him up. Since then, he's been staying the entire 3 hours of his class. This gives Luiza a much needed break and allows her to help Brendon with his homeschooling, not to mention just to have a few minutes to have some quiet. We're so proud of our little boy. The teacher was also amazed that he could read every word that she gave him to read. She called him a "delight" to have in her class!
During the Christmas break, Luiza and I prayed about Calvin starting school again. We felt that his social skills had improved to the point where he was constantly wanting to be engaged with people. Volunteers have proved difficult to come by and difficult to keep for any extended length of time, so the therapy time had fallen exclusively on Luiza's (and to a lesser extent my) shoulders. We spoke with Sweetbriar Elementary down the street, and they told us they would be happy to see if they could work with Calvin.
Calvin went in for an interview with Luiza and some staff from the school. They were impressed with Calvin's interaction and how well he used his words. So, they decided that he could be placed in a "typical" classroom, rather than a special-ed classroom. We were thrilled to no end.
So, Monday, January 12th, Calvin went to school. He made it for through the whole classtime, but by the end, he wanted to go home, so the teacher called Luiza to come and pick him up. Since then, he's been staying the entire 3 hours of his class. This gives Luiza a much needed break and allows her to help Brendon with his homeschooling, not to mention just to have a few minutes to have some quiet. We're so proud of our little boy. The teacher was also amazed that he could read every word that she gave him to read. She called him a "delight" to have in her class!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
"Tackle-Time!!!"
When Brendon was little, around 2 1/2 or 3 years old, we invented a little game called "Tackle-Time." In our little Victorian home in NE Portland, Brendon would go to the far side of our kitchen and I would sit outside the kitchen in our little living room. I would say "Tackle-Time!!" and he would run all full speed to me, and I would catch him and then fall over. We would tickle each other, laughing and then we would start all over again. The excitement on his little face was priceless, and this will always be one of my fondest memories.
Needless to say, I had hoped to repeat this moment with my second son, Calvin. But, with his autism, there never seemed to be any chance of this ever happening. Calvin just turned 6 last week, and he has been growing in his speech and understanding thanks to his mother's relentless work with him.
Last night, however, I was home playing with Calvin on the floor in the living room. He was excited that I was home from work and wanted to be with me. So, taking full advantage of this attention, we were busy playing with cars. Soon, that led to us rolling and throwing cars down the hallway of our current house.
Calvin ran down the hallway to get a car, and the memory of the tackling game came back to me. I told Calvin to go to the end of the hallway, and he fussed a bit, but he obeyed. Then, when he looked at me, I told him to come and tackle me! He paused, and I repeated that I wanted him to run to me. He ran to me full speed and I caught him in my arms, falling gently backwards. I tickled him, laughing together, and we repeated the game. I would say "Tackle-Time!!" and he would run to me. We did this so many times, that I finally got tired and Calvin was ok that we stopped the game.
Later on, I began to feel the joy that came from finally having this special interaction with Calvin. The same pride and joy that I felt seeing Brendon run to me, his father, I now had felt with Calvin as well. When you have "typical" kids, it's easy to look over those milestones. Having an autistic child definitely has made me value each and every interaction.
Also, Brendon has been reading a Peter Pan book, and it is very large...several hundred pages. I started reading the book with him every night, then I missed a few nights when he read by himself. Luiza took over the reading with Brendon before bed each night, and she fell in love with the story. So the last few nights she has been reading to him. We all read for over an hour together last night, snuggled up under blankets downstairs on the couches. It was very fun. Brendon is still at a great age where magic can be found in his imagination.
I don't want to forget to add that Calvin started saying "Come to think about it." haha. It's so cute, because he uses that phrase when he really wants our attention. E.g. "Come to think about it, I want to play Wii." He also has started to tell people "Look at me" like Luiza and I tell him all the time. Then when we were shopping for groceries, he was pretending to be in trouble with me, and he said, "This is terrible!" That was a new word for him too.
We're seeing many stride with Calvin, and he loves to be with us. That is good, although sometimes overwhelming (especially by bedtime). Brendon has blossomed under Luiza's direction at homeschooling. He really is finding himself and figuring out who he is, what he likes, etc., without having to try to be someone to impress other kids in his class. He is showing a lot of interest in art, reading and just being a 10 year old. He'll be 11 soon, which means I'm getting older too!
Needless to say, I had hoped to repeat this moment with my second son, Calvin. But, with his autism, there never seemed to be any chance of this ever happening. Calvin just turned 6 last week, and he has been growing in his speech and understanding thanks to his mother's relentless work with him.
Last night, however, I was home playing with Calvin on the floor in the living room. He was excited that I was home from work and wanted to be with me. So, taking full advantage of this attention, we were busy playing with cars. Soon, that led to us rolling and throwing cars down the hallway of our current house.
Calvin ran down the hallway to get a car, and the memory of the tackling game came back to me. I told Calvin to go to the end of the hallway, and he fussed a bit, but he obeyed. Then, when he looked at me, I told him to come and tackle me! He paused, and I repeated that I wanted him to run to me. He ran to me full speed and I caught him in my arms, falling gently backwards. I tickled him, laughing together, and we repeated the game. I would say "Tackle-Time!!" and he would run to me. We did this so many times, that I finally got tired and Calvin was ok that we stopped the game.
Later on, I began to feel the joy that came from finally having this special interaction with Calvin. The same pride and joy that I felt seeing Brendon run to me, his father, I now had felt with Calvin as well. When you have "typical" kids, it's easy to look over those milestones. Having an autistic child definitely has made me value each and every interaction.
Also, Brendon has been reading a Peter Pan book, and it is very large...several hundred pages. I started reading the book with him every night, then I missed a few nights when he read by himself. Luiza took over the reading with Brendon before bed each night, and she fell in love with the story. So the last few nights she has been reading to him. We all read for over an hour together last night, snuggled up under blankets downstairs on the couches. It was very fun. Brendon is still at a great age where magic can be found in his imagination.
I don't want to forget to add that Calvin started saying "Come to think about it." haha. It's so cute, because he uses that phrase when he really wants our attention. E.g. "Come to think about it, I want to play Wii." He also has started to tell people "Look at me" like Luiza and I tell him all the time. Then when we were shopping for groceries, he was pretending to be in trouble with me, and he said, "This is terrible!" That was a new word for him too.
We're seeing many stride with Calvin, and he loves to be with us. That is good, although sometimes overwhelming (especially by bedtime). Brendon has blossomed under Luiza's direction at homeschooling. He really is finding himself and figuring out who he is, what he likes, etc., without having to try to be someone to impress other kids in his class. He is showing a lot of interest in art, reading and just being a 10 year old. He'll be 11 soon, which means I'm getting older too!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Home School and Phone Calls
So, a week into homeschooling with Brendon and all is well. Luiza is managing to work with Brendon on schoolwork while then switching to her role as therapist with Calvin. We have started to regain momentum with Calvin, and it's already paying off.
On Sunday, we went swimming and biking with my parents at the Mt. Hood Village. Calvin had a blast, as we all did. Yesterday morning, Calvin grabbed the phone and said to Luiza, "Hi, Nana." So, Luiza called Nana's cell phone and Nana answered. "Hi, Nana, " Calvin said. "Nana swim." "Yes," said Nana. "Ride bikes, Nana, " and then Calvin started going downstairs... "Blue car, go see Nana," he said as he went to the door. He wanted to go back again!
Yesterday, after our time in his playroom, he wanted to leave the room. I asked where he was going. "Look phone, Calvin call Nana, swim and bike." Wow! That's a great communication line from him... for sure the longest I've ever heard from him. It was great!!
On Sunday, we went swimming and biking with my parents at the Mt. Hood Village. Calvin had a blast, as we all did. Yesterday morning, Calvin grabbed the phone and said to Luiza, "Hi, Nana." So, Luiza called Nana's cell phone and Nana answered. "Hi, Nana, " Calvin said. "Nana swim." "Yes," said Nana. "Ride bikes, Nana, " and then Calvin started going downstairs... "Blue car, go see Nana," he said as he went to the door. He wanted to go back again!
Yesterday, after our time in his playroom, he wanted to leave the room. I asked where he was going. "Look phone, Calvin call Nana, swim and bike." Wow! That's a great communication line from him... for sure the longest I've ever heard from him. It was great!!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Calvin's first "Thank You"
So, last week, I was giving Calvin something to eat, and after I started to walk away, he said, "Thank you, Dada." That might not seem like a big deal, but it was Calvin's first unprompted "Thank you" ever!!! I was thrilled. He followed it up again yesterday thanking Luiza for helping him with his bigwheel. Man, that's a great step. It's a real relationship concept to say thanks. He's said excuse me many times, but mainly because he wants to get past someone in line or if someone is blocking his way. He is also continuing to interact with other children well. He's not intimidated at all, but he needs to still work on social cues and norms. But, this will come with time. At least he's interested in other people now!!!
Luiza is going to homeschool Brendon this year too. We're very excited about it and hope that it will work out well. This is just what our family needs right now. Brendon's pretty excited about it too. We fixed up our spare room for his classroom, and he's already spending time there drawing at his desk, and soon we'll add a reading corner for him to have a quiet place to read. Not to mention that Luiza and he will spend time together during the day. Brendon will enjoy having the extra time w/ his mom, I'm sure!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Calvin's First Why
So, today was another benchmark for Calvin's progress in his therapy. Calvin likes to "parrot" (repeat verbatim) his Thomas the Tank Engine stories. He has memorized most of them. He will mumble some of the words and run through them quickly, not because he doesn't know the words, but because he processes the stories so quickly in his mind, his mouth doesn't put the words out fast enough.
So, in order to be in sync with Calvin and to participate in his world, Luiza will lead the story or add to the story by adding parts to the story or starting the next phrase for Calvin. This allows a lot of interaction with Calvin. He will often look at her (us when I do it), and we can even teasingly change the story to different words or names, to which Calvin quickly says "No", showing that he understands that we are teasing him.
Luiza did not know the story that Calvin was repeating very well yet. She wanted to be able to know what was next, so she needed to find the Thomas book to read it and be able to interact with Calvin. The playroom door was closed, and Calvin was playing with his trains right in front of the door.
Luiza said, "Calvin, I need to open the door to get the Thomas book." Calvin quickly said "No." She said, "But Calvin, I need to go get the book." Calvin asked "Why?" Luiza, trying not to show how insanely overwhelmed she was with joy answered, "Because I need to read the book." He then said, "No, no book."
So, finally a "Why?"!!! Our first. I remember his first "No." haha. Wow.
Tonight, we went to Doris Aleman's birthday party at the Nunez's house. Lots of kids Calvin's age were there. Calvin played with them all night. He was chasing, sitting with them on the patio swing, pushing them in the swing, chasing deflating balloons as they flipped through the air.
Luiza told me that while I was at work, we had 3 other boys come over to play with Brendon on the Wii. Calvin was with them all morning. Luiza wanted to get time with Calvin by themselves, so she had to pull him away from the other boys to his playroom. She was very impressed that he wanted to hang out with them so badly, and not just to play Wii, but because he wanted to be with the boys so badly. We were very happy to see how much he wants to play with friends...chasing them, jumping on the trampoline together, swinging, he even likes to dance now. It's pretty dreamy.
And for me, tonight was so special. I laid down with Calvin in bed. His tiny body was on his side, with his back to me. I put my arm over him as I lay down next to him, and I asked him about his day.
It's always been a dream of mine to have a conversation with Calvin.
So, I asked him, "Calvin, you went to a birthday party! What did you eat at the party?" "Pizza!" he quickly replied. He shook with the excitement of the memory of pizza (he's not supposed to have wheat or cheese because of allergies, but we occasionally let him have some pizza). I asked, "What else did you eat?" "Pizza!" "Yes, Calvin, but you also had some birthday c..." "Cake." "YES! You had birthday cake! Was it yummy or yucky?" "Yummy." "Good job, Calvin, it was yummy! What else did you do? Did you break something?" ...no answer... "Did you pop something?" ...no answer... "You popped the..." "Balloon!" "Yeah! You popped the balloons!"
I asked some more questions, but I had to really help him with the answers, but he knew the right answers. So, it was a real mini-conversation! Praise God!
Also, on Sunday, the whole family went to church. Normally, one of us stays home with Calvin, as he is always overwhelmed by the loud music and length of the services. But this time, he sat through over one half hour of music, standing up and sitting down...just listening and watching. I had to read some books to him after about 20 minutes, but he was very calm and not overwhelmed at all.
So, we're seeing definite progress! It's slow, tedious and emotionally draining. But, Luiza's tenacity is something that autism cannot withstand. She's a vicious fighter for her son, and it's showing. She's the key to his success and her patience, faithfulness and non-stop input and sacrifice has changed Calvin's life. She's a queen among mothers. Her reward will be her son standing in front of her as a typical child, even though she will always know how special he is...
So, in order to be in sync with Calvin and to participate in his world, Luiza will lead the story or add to the story by adding parts to the story or starting the next phrase for Calvin. This allows a lot of interaction with Calvin. He will often look at her (us when I do it), and we can even teasingly change the story to different words or names, to which Calvin quickly says "No", showing that he understands that we are teasing him.
Luiza did not know the story that Calvin was repeating very well yet. She wanted to be able to know what was next, so she needed to find the Thomas book to read it and be able to interact with Calvin. The playroom door was closed, and Calvin was playing with his trains right in front of the door.
Luiza said, "Calvin, I need to open the door to get the Thomas book." Calvin quickly said "No." She said, "But Calvin, I need to go get the book." Calvin asked "Why?" Luiza, trying not to show how insanely overwhelmed she was with joy answered, "Because I need to read the book." He then said, "No, no book."
So, finally a "Why?"!!! Our first. I remember his first "No." haha. Wow.
Tonight, we went to Doris Aleman's birthday party at the Nunez's house. Lots of kids Calvin's age were there. Calvin played with them all night. He was chasing, sitting with them on the patio swing, pushing them in the swing, chasing deflating balloons as they flipped through the air.
Luiza told me that while I was at work, we had 3 other boys come over to play with Brendon on the Wii. Calvin was with them all morning. Luiza wanted to get time with Calvin by themselves, so she had to pull him away from the other boys to his playroom. She was very impressed that he wanted to hang out with them so badly, and not just to play Wii, but because he wanted to be with the boys so badly. We were very happy to see how much he wants to play with friends...chasing them, jumping on the trampoline together, swinging, he even likes to dance now. It's pretty dreamy.
And for me, tonight was so special. I laid down with Calvin in bed. His tiny body was on his side, with his back to me. I put my arm over him as I lay down next to him, and I asked him about his day.
It's always been a dream of mine to have a conversation with Calvin.
So, I asked him, "Calvin, you went to a birthday party! What did you eat at the party?" "Pizza!" he quickly replied. He shook with the excitement of the memory of pizza (he's not supposed to have wheat or cheese because of allergies, but we occasionally let him have some pizza). I asked, "What else did you eat?" "Pizza!" "Yes, Calvin, but you also had some birthday c..." "Cake." "YES! You had birthday cake! Was it yummy or yucky?" "Yummy." "Good job, Calvin, it was yummy! What else did you do? Did you break something?" ...no answer... "Did you pop something?" ...no answer... "You popped the..." "Balloon!" "Yeah! You popped the balloons!"
I asked some more questions, but I had to really help him with the answers, but he knew the right answers. So, it was a real mini-conversation! Praise God!
Also, on Sunday, the whole family went to church. Normally, one of us stays home with Calvin, as he is always overwhelmed by the loud music and length of the services. But this time, he sat through over one half hour of music, standing up and sitting down...just listening and watching. I had to read some books to him after about 20 minutes, but he was very calm and not overwhelmed at all.
So, we're seeing definite progress! It's slow, tedious and emotionally draining. But, Luiza's tenacity is something that autism cannot withstand. She's a vicious fighter for her son, and it's showing. She's the key to his success and her patience, faithfulness and non-stop input and sacrifice has changed Calvin's life. She's a queen among mothers. Her reward will be her son standing in front of her as a typical child, even though she will always know how special he is...
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